This is a detailed episode guide to, review of, and commentary on episodes 1 through 5 of the third season of TRACEY TAKES ON ..., the award-winning HBO series starring Tracey Ullman. Sprinkled throughout the guide are my commentaries and reviews of the various episodes, sketches and bits.
OTHER EPISODE GUIDES
Episode guides to other seasons can be found at http://www.rreini.org/tracey/, as can a concise episode guide for all seasons (no commentary, one-line descriptions of sketches).
Episodes are listed in the order of their original airdate on HBO.
OPENING: Tracey describes what she wanted in a husband (an older Cockney tape,
a la Michael Caine, who's ready to settle down), and she found him in Allan McKeown. We
are then taken back, via home video, to their wedding ceremony, which was enlivened by a
"Groucho-gram" sent by a friend of theirs. But "Groucho", aware of all
the producers and big shots there, would not leave. She wanted to give "Groucho"
a "Harpo-gram" at his wedding, with plenty of horn toots!
COMMENT: That "Harpo-gram" would have been a sight to
see!
SHORT BITS:
Chic doesn't have a problem with gay marriages so much as a problem with marriage in
general. For marriage requires that you have sex with your spouse, and only your spouse,
for the rest of your life, and that's unnatural!
COMMENT: I'm not surprised to hear this from Chic. But I admire
his honesty in implying he wouldn't be able to honor marriage vows, so he wouldn't make
them in the first place.
Hope is the maid of honor at her best friend Toby's wedding, and she's somewhat put off
by the fancy traditional ceremony and her "let's pretend I'm Barbie" dress. When
she gets married, she wants to have the ceremony in the tropical rain forest, surrounded
by nature, where the reception will consist of giving rice and other food to the local
indigenous people (who will have been invited to the ceremony, of course). But they'll
honeymoon in Paris...
COMMENT: She's not dumb <g>! This got the biggest laugh of
the evening from me.
LONGER SKETCH:
The scene: the prison at San Quentin -- Death Row, to be exact. Convicted serial killer
Kurt Allan Rasmussen is being visited by his attorney, Sydney Kross. Rasmussen is
definitely a nutcase (he has an American flag tattooed on his forehead, and he disposed of
his mother's remains in a most gruesome way), but Sydney knows how to handle him. She's
preparing his appeal to the governor for clemency, and she wants to find a way to humanize
him to improve his chances. Is he married? No -- but he does have a pen pal, Kay Clark.
Sydney comes up with the idea that Kay should marry Rasmussen. Kay is understandably
reluctant to do this, but Sydney convinces her to give it a try, through the force of her
personality (and of her hands around Kay's neck). So it's off to San Quentin (just like Thelma
& Louise, except they don't drive off a cliff) to meet Rasmussen. Kay's put in a
very uncomfortable position, so she says no. Rasmussen understands; he doesn't hold it
against her. He doesn't deserve her, he says; she should marry a king, who's not in
prison. This is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me, says Kay. She will marry him
after all! The ceremony is a rather touching affair -- except that there wasn't any
touching, since bride and groom were separated by a security partition. Under the
circumstances, there's no honeymoon -- and there won't be anything else, for Rasmussen's
clemency has been denied. It's the gas chamber for him now. But Kay requests a last moment
alone with her husband, and she does something she's never done before: she gives him his
first (and last) glimpse of her breasts. He'll take that last memory into the Afterlife.
Poor Kay -- bride to widow in less than 24 hours.
COMMENT: This was a very interesting sketch. Although it ended
on a downbeat note with Rasmussen's death, it was still pretty good. I'd consider it to be
a contender for the season-ending "best of" special. Who would have thought that
Sydney could control a psychotic serial killer like that? Hm -- could Sydney be a little
close to the edge herself? We know she likes to eat raw meat for that killer instinct in
the courtroom (see last season). And she did fantasize about committing murder (also see
last season). The wedding ceremony was touchingly awkward (or awkwardly touching, I'm not
sure which). The gas chamber scene was poignant yet not without humor (the bosom-baring
and Rasmussen's reaction to same). Will Kay ever get -- and keep -- a
man? But we must give her credit for finding a way to quiet Sydney: describing Mother's
ailments in excruciating detail (I don't want to know what that doorstop is composed of).
SHORT BIT:
Erin and her manager (Mo Gaffney) discuss marriage and rock & roll being a bad mix
(or was that her last album which had a bad mix?). Your typical rock star will abandon his
family and run off with a supermodel, and after he gets out of rehab, he wants to get back
with his old lady, except she's probably run off with a bigger rock star. This is why Erin
will never marry a musician. But she did marry her first drummer, on Fiji (Stephen Stills
lost a toe to a rattlesnake).
COMMENT: What would Erin do without her manager? I'm curious to
know what she was like before the incident which screwed up her head.
LONGER SKETCH:
Ruby's settling in for a night of TV-watching when there's a knock on the door. It's
Milou, a Filipina woman. No, she's not delivering carryout, she's Buddy's mail-order
bride! Ruby is surprised; she had no idea Buddy had done this. But Milou has the bill to
prove it: $3400. Buddy's not home, says Ruby; he's joined up with a separatist group, the
Army of Armageddon, and is in their besieged compound. Ruby question Milou's motives but
will allow her to sleep on the couch (she unplugs the phone and takes it with her, just in
case). When morning breaks, what was a messy house has become spic and span, thanks to
Milou! And she's fixed a hot breakfast for Ruby and proceeds to give her a foot massage.
Maybe Milou isn't so bad after all, thinks Ruby. She'll take her to Buddy. They drive to
the besieged compound, where only one officer, FBI agent Ivan Hamel, is on duty. No need
for the full SWAT team approach here; just cut off the power and sewer and let events take
their course. Ruby tries to coax Buddy out, but she's having little luck. Meanwhile, Milou
and Ivan are becoming very friendly. Ruby gets Buddy to come out by
singing the Tasty Bread song (as a boy, he appeared in Tasty Bread advertising). Turns out
he's not wearing any clothes. And it also turns out he's not going to be a husband; Milou
now loves Ivan. So Ruby tells him to send the $5000 to her (note how she raised the
price). Hm -- this mail-order bride business could become an interesting racket.
COMMENT: Ruby's not dumb, either. We see her prejudices showing
when she takes the phone with her and gives Milou a hard time, but we also see her lay
them aside when she sees how useful Milou can be around the house (those must be great
foot massages!). Her son Buddy's been dealt some bad cards in life, but she still loves
him and cares for him. There were a couple of lines in this sketch that got a big laugh
out of me, but decency prevents me from mentioning them here.
At LAX airport security, a newlywed couple is passing through the metal detectors. The
bride sets off the alarm. Security guard Sheneesha Turner tells her to empty her pockets
(she has none) and take off her ring and go through again. No problems this time. This
proves the ring was cheap, says Sheneesha, for 24K gold would not have set it off. At the
same time, the groom's luggage contains a suspicious item. It turns out to be a cordless
massager, which could have some other uses (as a sex toy, perhaps?). Sheneesha then
proceeds to give them some advice on love (using the example of her husband and herself)
before sending them on their way (but she still razzes him about the cheap ring).
COMMENT: This is Sheneesha's first appearance in the series (not
counting the opening performance of "They Don't Know"). She is black. She's the
first black character Tracey has done since the third season of "The Tracey Ullman
Show", where she portrayed Carol, one of the riders stuck on a subway train. I'm not
sure what to think of Sheneesha yet. She may turn out OK.
SHORT BITS:
Trevor tells how he and Barry were considering going to Hawaii to get married, until
the legal climate changed there. So, they made do with a ceremony in their backyard in
England, where it rained (not unexpectedly). No roasted pig at the luau, but they did put
pineapple rings on the sausages and watch "My Best Friend's Wedding" afterwards.
This prompts a fantasy about Rupert Everett (shame on you, Trevor; you're a married man).
COMMENT: I hope we can look forward to someday learning how
Trevor and Barry met
Linda begins to describe her marriages. Number one was to glazier (glass-repairer) Earl
Rheat, who decided he didn't want to be married to a working woman. Number two was to
choreographer Troy Wilson, who learned on the honeymoon that he was a latent homosexual.
By the time they returned to the Burbank, he was no longer latent and got arrested after
taking liberties with a baggage handler. Those divorces went well. Number three, retired
furrier Carl Harrison, sold Linda's jewelry and spend the proceeds on overweight Filipina
prostitutes. This divorce didn't go well; he had to be bodily evicted by George Peppard
and Dirk Benedict (of "The A-Team" fame). Oops, out of time -- but she's only
gone up to 1981!
COMMENT: I'd like to hear the rest of the story myself sometime.
LOST BIT: The episode guides available online (at HBO's Web site and TTO's Web site) mention a bit featuring Fern, where she doesn't want to talk about marriage because of the tragic end of her marriage to Harry. According to these guides, something will happen to Harry in a future episode, which may explain why this bit's been excised from this episode. It may turn up in a future video release, however.
OVERALL COMMENTS (Jan. 5, 1998): This was an interesting episode to start off the season. There weren't many belly laughs tonight, but there were a number of smaller laughs and a few sly "a-ha's". The sketch featuring Kay was very bittersweet; she finds love, only to have it snatched away from her permanently by death. Ruby's sketch was interesting in concept (so was Kay and Sydney's).
There seems to be a common theme with season-kickoffs -- the first season began with "Romance", the second season started with "Sex", and this season began with "Marriage". What can we look forward to next year -- "Babies"? "Children"? "Divorce"?
When looking at this season's episode summaries, one character is conspicuously absent: Virginia Bugge, wife of now-former British Cabinet minister Timmy (due to the 1997 election which voted Labour in and the Conservatives out). Might Timmy be a former MP as well? We'll never know -- not this season, at least.
OPENING: Tracey tells us how she, like many Britons, enjoy the sunshine of
southern California (witness what it did to David Hockney's art). Then she is discussing
some of the famous relics of old Hollywood, such as the Rexall drug store, which is now a
video store. Then there's the Max Factor museum with its extensive toupee collection --
but sadly, that's closed down too (now she's depressed).
COMMENT: I won't even mention her thoughts on Veronica Lake!
THE STORY:
We see a cab in New York City. In the back of the cab is Penny Marshall (herself), who
is reviewing a film script. Driving the cab is Chic. He recognizes her from his earliest
days in America, when he was learning English (he especially remembers the "L"
on the tops she wore on "Laverne and Shirley"). He wants to know how he can get
into the business. You gotta have a hot property or know someone, she tells him. His
cousin in North Hollywood once laid carpet for David Hasselhoff, so he's in (ha ha)!
"Do movies with great parts for women," she tells him. Chic already has a great
part for women (ha ha), but she declines the invitation. When she leaves, she's forgotten
her script....
...so Chic is off to Hollywood with a hot property! As he leaves the airport, he
encounters two young ladies. Do you want to be in my movie, he asks? Show me your tits!
And they do! So it's off to his Maserati (sure)...
COMMENT: It's nice to be a producer!
Meanwhile, Fern Rosenthal has also flown into town. As the winner of the Loving Hair
contest (Miss Sorrento with brass bands), she's won a guest appearance on "Dr. Quinn
Medicine Woman." But she's disappointed by the van sent by the production staff; she
was expecting a limo. And she doesn't want to sit in back, and she's got a sore shoulder,
etc.
COMMENT: Picky, picky....
Meanwhile, Huell Hauser is interviewing Ruby Romaine for a documentary. Given her long
career in Hollywood, she's bound to have many stories. She points out the spot where the
subway diggers caused parts of Hollywood Blvd. to cave in, and she questions the ancestry
of Claudette Colbert. They stop at the famous Musso & Frank Grill to wet their
whistles....
COMMENT: Once again, we see things to like and dislike about
Ruby. When she's talking about the cave-in, she refers to the Hispanic laborers in an
uncomplimentary way. Then when she's talking about Claudette Colbert, she's the
knowledgeable, ego-bursting woman who's seen it all. Tracey has said (on the Rosie
O'Donnell show) that she'd like to feature Ruby in a movie someday. I say go for it!
Meanwhile, Chic has found Mrs. Noh Nang Ning's donut shop. He's admiring the photos of
the stars on the walls. Shannen Doherty? She was discovered right in her shop! (sure) She
shows him a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger in his "T2" role. It's not signed?
No problem, she signs it right there: "To Mrs. Noh --Hasta la donut, baby! Mr.
Freeze." Chic leaves, but he didn't buy anything, not after seeing that cockroach
have a baby on a cream donut. Mrs. Noh is extremely upset; she runs a clean establishment.
After they trade insults, she runs him off. "Foreigners!" she says in disgust.
Besides, that was no cockroach, that was a fly....
COMMENT: "Hasta la donut, baby" indeed! It's funny how
she ridicules Chic as a foreigner, for she's not native, herself. However, she is
patriotic -- why else would she call her shop "Yankee Doodle Donuts"?
Meanwhile, on the set of "Dr. Quinn", Fern is continuing to carp. Lose the
glasses, remove the lipstick, put on the bonnet -- it's too much. She goes over to Jane
Seymour's trailer and complains. One of the crew pulls Fern away and leads her to her
scene. She's told she'll be ladling water to the children, water which is contaminated.
She doesn't care for this at all, as it'll show the Jews in a bad light again. She also
doesn't care for the bonnet she's supposed to wear, for it'll cover up her contest-winning
hair.
COMMENT: She's really out of her element here -- never satisfied
with anything. A demanding extra -- now that's a contridiction in terms.
Meanwhile, Chic is walking down the street (in Hollywood?) when we see a car pull up.
It's Sydney Kross. She likes what she sees. Can she give him a lift to Candy Casino's
office? Sure she can. Might a love connection be in the making?
COMMENT: Chic's comment (which I won't repeat here) is
hilarious!
Meanwhile, the documentary crew is filming near Joan Crawford's old house. Ruby used to
work for Joan as an on-call makeup artist. Yes, she saw some of the things that went on
there (the "Mommie Dearest" events), but she sided with Joan. After all, she was
the one who signed the checks. This must be near Candy Casino's office, as Sydney drops
off Chic. He and Ruby don't get along very well.
COMMENT: A moral dilemma -- to help the kids or keep the job.
Ruby chose the job. It makes you think to yourself "What would I have done had I been
in that situation?"
Meanwhile, Chic makes a call on agent "Candy" Casino (Seymour Cassel), who
used to be a client of Chic's in his drug-dealing days (recall the "1976"
episode). Candy's in a very important meeting (a foot treatment being given by an
attractive young woman), but he does take care of his former drug dealers (even the one
who's running a studio!). He gives Chic a ticket to the Lady Legends of Hollywood award
show taking place that evening, and he tells him to get a nice tux. Chic returns the favor
by giving some advice of his own (watch out for the bubble gum!).
COMMENT: Candy had a nice line -- "I don't do anything I
like anymore"
Meanwhile, back at the ranch -- er, the "Dr. Quinn" set, Fern's scene is
ready to shoot. She ladles the water like a good Jewish mother. Unfortunately, she wasn't
supposed to speak, so the take is ruined. On the next tape, everything goes well until Joe
Lando (himself), in character as "Sully", runs into the scene to knock the ladle
from Fern's hands. She screws up again by tipping the water barrell on Joe and ruining his
buckskins. Something has to be done: another extra will ladle the water, and Fern will go
over by the saloon -- way over by the saloon. She doesn't care for the
treatment she's receiving and quits in a huff.
COMMENT: Let's be honest -- she kinda deserved the treatment she
was getting.
Meanwhile, Ruby and crew are at the base of the Hollywood sign. She says that the most popular letter to jump off from to kill oneself is the "D". She makes more uncomplimentary references to Mexicans. What will the crew be able to salvage?
Meanwhile, Chic (now wearing a nice tux) visits Sydney's place. The look is basic
black, and the room is dominated by a portrait of Sydney done in the style of Andy
Warhol's famous portrait of Marilyn Monroe. Where's Sydney? In the bathtub, taking a
bubble bath. She's got the hots for Chic. The movers and shakers will come later, she
says, so let's enjoy ourselves beforehand. Never one to turn down an opportunity, Chic
undresses. But he has to coax "himself" into being ready; normally, that's a
given. Soon, Sydney reveals that there aren't any big shots coming; it's just him and her.
Chic wants no part of this (he compares her unfavorably to the La Brea Tar Pits) and
leaves.
COMMENT: This was a hilarious, raunchy scene!
Meanwhile, at the awards show, Linda Granger has arrived with Candy as her escort.
Melissa Rivers (herself) is interviewing Linda, who's there to explain the voting
procedures. In the middle of her discussing the various ribbons she's wearing, everyone's
attention is diverted by the arrival of Courteney Cox. End of interview.
COMMENT: There should be a rainbow ribbon. Since it contains
every color, the one ribbon would serve for every cause.
Meanwhile, Chic arrives to take his seat. It turns out that his ticket is for
seat-warmers, who fill in the empty seats in the theater. He fills in the seat next to
Joan Van Ark (herself) and proceeds to hit on her. She leaves.
COMMENT: I'm not surprised.
Meanwhile, the ceremony has begun. Backstage, on a monitor in the makeup room, Linda is giving her explanation of the voting procedures. Ruby's comment: "collagen city", referring to Linda's lips. She's doing Jane Seymour's hair. Jane (not herself -- voiced by Tracey) gets up and leaves, but Ruby was still working on her hair, so a long chunk of it was left behind. Hm, you can get good money for some European hair...
Meanwhile, Sydney calls security at the venue. She says there's a terrorist with a bomb
in an envelope and identifies Chic as the terrorist. "Nobody doesn't f*** Sydney
Kross and get away with it!"
COMMENT: Psycho Sydney gets ready to strike....
Meanwhile, Chic is trying to interest Erik Estrada (himself) in his hot property. Just
then, security arrives and removes Chic from the theater. It seems he's had problems like
this before; he makes it a point to stay 10 blocks away from the World Trade Center. The
theater empties in a panic. Linda and Erik almost have a love connection. And Bea Arthur
is missing....
COMMENT: the one-liners and references are flying in this scene
-- "no such thing as overblown" (hoo boy), the Trade Center remark, etc.
Meanwhile, Sydney's holding an impromptu press conference. Chic's property was
destroyed by the bomb squad. She's representing him in his action against the city, state,
the awards committee, and the anonymous tipster. Hooray for Hollywood!
COMMENT: What gall to sue the "anonymous tipster" --
for we know she was the tipster!
OVERALL COMMENTS (Jan. 13, 1998): This was a wonderful episode. The unified format of bringing the characters together and interweaving their storylines really opens up the possibilities. The Las Vegas episode from the second season did just that, and I considered it one of the best of the season. I have a feeling this will be true of the Hollywood episode
OPENING: Tracey describes how she started smoking at a young age but had to
kick the habit when she arrived in Calfornia. Why? There are no ashtrays in the whole
state! Alitalia Airlines doesn't have that problem -- the "no smoking" sign goes
off almost as soon as the plane takes off!
COMMENT: Personally, I've never seen the appeal in smoking.
SHORT BITS:
We see Hope in a restroom stall, sneaking a smoke. She's mortified that she's been
caught, but she 'fesses up to her habit. Yes, she has a monkey on her back, and its name
is Newport 100's. Why, she's now up to two smokes per semester!
COMMENT: Hope, the tobacco fiend <g>! Let's be honest --
two cigarettes a semester does not a habit make.
Mrs. Noh Nang Ning really likes Joe Camel (the now-banned mascot for Camel cigarettes).
Why, she even put a poster of his in the window of her shop, so all the schoolchildren
would see it. No, she wouldn't give them cigarettes; that's illegal. She puts nicotine in
the donuts....
COMMENT: Now that's a very intriguing idea: nicotine donuts!
You've got nicotine patches and nicotine gum, so why not nicotine donuts? They can clog
your arteries and destroy your airways at the same time! I'm amazed
somebody hasn't thought of this before.
LONG SKETCHES:
Kay asks her co-worker Darnetta if she knows where one can buy marijuana -- for
medicinal purposes for Mother, of course. Her doctor won't prescribe it for her. Darnetta
does not know, proving that Jamaicans don't necessarily know where to find good ganja. But
Kay's not discouraged; she goes to a seedy bar in the barrio, looking for Carlos, who'd
done some work for her in the past. The patrons are reluctant to help, but Kay reassures
them; she's not with the INS, and she's not pregnant. Carlos (Cheech Marin) emerges from
hiding (can't be too careful). She tells him her plans. He's surprised (especially by the
fact that Mother's still alive) and somewhat impressed. He'll get her some good pot.
Later, at Kay's home, he delivers the goods. But is the stuff any good? Guess she'll have
to try some (and so will he). He thinks it's good stuff. But will this first puff lead Kay
down the road to ruin? We don't know that. But we do know that before long, Carlos and Kay
are having a great time, playing and/or massacring "I Am The Walrus". It's not
long afterwards that Kay puts a turkey in the oven; she's got the munchies. This leads to
more massacring. Unfortunately, she forgets about the turkey, which catches fire. The fire
department comes and puts it out; the police arrive and confiscate the pot and take Carlos
away (he's an illegal alien). Some time later, at the Mexican border, Kay crosses back
into the country after ostensibly researching alternative medical treatments for Mother in
Tijuana. She's only brought back a few souvenirs -- and Carlos, riding in the trunk. She
wants him to build a tall fence to hide her new crop....
COMMENT: This was a pretty good sketch; it might even be a
contender for the best-of special. Kay can be very surprising at times. You wouldn't think
of her as a fan of action films and special effects movies or Joseph Wambaugh (all of
which we learned last season). Now she's become a small-time coyote (illegal alien
smuggler) and dope grower -- but it's for Mother, of course. The vamping on "I Am The
Walrus" was absolutely hilarious -- "I'm starving". In keeping with the
altered perceptions, that scene was filmed with a lens that distorted the image.
Linda Granger is addressing another group of recovering addicts. What they're
recovering from is never mentioned, but nearly everone in the crowd is smoking. Linda
describes how all of her problems stemmed from that first cigarette she smoked in high
school. Flash back to 1950-something and a small-town high school (Sammy Davis Jr. Senior
High School, to be exact). Linda Wartkowski is the new girl in school, and she's getting a
hard time from her classmates. But it's Johnno to the rescue. He asks if she smokes; she
doesn't. There's always a first time, he tells her, and he gives her her first smoke.
There's always a first time for a lot of things .... Later, we see Linda Warton (she
hasn't settled on a stage name yet) getting on the bus to New York. She's going to try and
make it on Broadway. We see Linda Wainscott in a dance studio, auditioning for Bob Rosse
(Joseph Malone). He thinks she's in need of some personal guidance.... some very
personal guidance.... Cut to Rossi's bedroom, where he and Linda have had a wild evening
of sex and cocaine. But she has to leave before his wife comes home -- but before she
does, she'll take those pills to bring her down from the coke. She then strikes out for
Hollywood for Linda Westlake, but it's more of the same. There are pills for everything.
One time, she actually passes out. Luckily for her, it's in the lap of an ABC programming
executive, who signs her up for "VIP Lounge". Stardom beckons at last for Linda
Granger ("Granger" comes from Granger DeLisle, hairdresser, confidante and coke
dealer). We see her at the height of her career (illustrated by scenes from the 1976
episode), and then we see where she ends up: freebasing with Richard Pryor the night he
has his accident. Then she gets cancer, which proves to be the motivation she needed to
kick her other habits. And she's been clean ever since -- mostly clean, at least. And she
blames it all on that first cigarette that "Johnno" John Gotti gave her. She
wants everyone in the room to put out their smokes. They don't want to, and they don't
care for her suggestion. In fact, they chase her from the room.
COMMENT: I wasn't too keen on this sketch upon first viewing,
but I find that I appreciated it more after seeing it again. This is more of an
"interesting concept" sketch than a "loads of laughs" sketch, but it
does provide a valuable insight into who Linda is and where she came from. It also allowed
us to see some more of Joseph Malone's choreography.
Ruby is applying the finishing touches to the woman who is playing "corpse number
2." As she finishes, Ruby lights up a cigarette. The woman asks her to put it out, as
the smoke will ruin her voice (she sings in a production of "Rent"). Ruby puts
it out. She tries to light it up again later, but a crewperson directs her to put it out.
She does. She goes to the toilet, but even there, she can't light up. Only when she
arrives home is she able to light up in peace. She's going to finish that cigarette if it
kills her. She pours herself a drink, then proceeds to go to the couch, cigarette and
drink in hand. What a relaxing combination -- and soon, she's asleep. However, the
cigarette is still lit. It drops from her hand, falls to the floor, and suddenly, the
carpet begins to burn. Will the house go up in flames? In her quest to smoke in peace,
will Ruby end up resting in peace? No; the drink glass falls, putting out the flame. Ruby
will live to smoke and drink another day. And she may never know....
COMMENT: It is getting harder and harder to
find a place to smoke nowadays! And the lengths some people will go to get their
nicotine.... The toilet scene (most of which had been shown on the Rosie O'Donnell show a
week earlier) was hilarious! On a more serious note, Ruby has to count her blessings, for
she came this close to burning her house down. She got very
lucky.
SHORT BIT:
Chic does not allow anyone to smoke in his cab. Period. No exceptions! He once rescued
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis from their disabled limo, but he put them out after
they lit up some fancy cigars. And he threw out Halle Berry of his cab once for daring to
light up. He doesn't want his cab to smell like camel dung!
COMMENT: He means business! I would not have figured him on
being so gung-ho against smoking.
LOST BIT: Trevor tells about the deathbed request of his uncle Stan, who was a serious chain smoker.
OVERALL COMMENTS: One great sketch, a pretty good one, and an interesting one. Not bad.
Unfortunately, the same can't be said about the closed captioning. I'd turned it on so that I could catch some things I might have missed (like spellings of names). But I found so many misspellings, garbled words and missing words... I was shocked. Doesn't anyone proofread them before they're broadcast? It's not like they're being done on the fly on a live broadcast.
OPENING: Tracey tells the story of her dog Dottie making off with the remnant
of Mabel's umbilical cord and enjoying it as a snack. It was devastating.
COMMENT: As a man, and as someone who's never been a parent, I
may be unable to fully appreciate how devastating this could be. When a mother's gone to
the trouble of saving such a special remnant of the physical link between her and her
child, only to see it devoured by a stupid dog...
SHORT BITS:
Ruby describes the time she lost her remote control. She looked around for it but could
not find it. But when she sat down in her Barcalounger, the channel changed. Yes, she was
sitting on the remote. She was able to make the volume change, too, and fix the hue. But
she's never been able to do that since....
COMMENT: I enjoyed her comment about how she looked high and low
for the remote -- "mostly high."
Her Royal Highness meets the Rolling Stones. She observes that zombies in horror films
have more color then they do. Everybody's lost things since the 60's (and not just teeth
and hair) -- the royal family has lost the respect of the British public, and the band's
lost Bill Wyman, who, according to HRH, is now a waiter at a burger bar (he owns it,
actually). At one time, there were those who wanted the band publicly flogged to death ...
COMMENT: Having less color than zombies -- good line. Actually,
one could confuse Keith Richards with a zombie (though he still plays a mean guitar).
Janie describes how an inadvertent mixing of anti-depressants led to the complete loss
of sexual sensation -- a sexual root canal, as it were....
COMMENT: I don't even want to think about it!
LONG SKETCH:
Fern is enjoying being a grandmother. She's sitting poolside with Jobie (Julie Kavner),
caring for her grandson while Harry is out golfing. I'm a golf widow, complains Fern.
That's not real widowhood, counters Jobie; it's been four years since her husband Saulie
passed away. You never know what you have until it's gone, she says. While Fern looks for
a diaper for the baby, she receives a disturbing phone call from the golf course. Harry is
missing and can't be found. Leaving the baby with Jobie, Fern rushes to the golf course.
Harry's clubs and shoes are there ... so is his hat, which was fished from the water ...
there are footsteps leading to the water ... and Fern catches a brief glimpse of an
alligator before it sinks into the water. There can be only one conclusion: Harry's been
attacked and killed by an alligator! Fern is devastated, as you would expect. Several days
pass. Fern's in bed, still overcome with her grief. The body has not yet been found, so
she'll hold onto this slim hope. She's turned to pills to help her get through it, but
they're no solution. Jobie suggests that Fern put on Harry's watch, as a constant reminder
with him. That's how you can tell the widows -- they have the clunky wrists. The memorial
service is held at the golf course, and it goes well. There is now a fence at the water
line -- the Harry Rosenthal Memorial Fence. Now Fern begins the rest of her life....
COMMENT: When I first saw this segment, I thought it was quite
poignant. The death of a spouse is a life-changing event (now there's an understatement).
I saw what it did to my mother after my father passed away. Some can survive, others
can't. I have a feeling Fern is going to be a survivor. The sketch is not without humor,
especially poolside with the baby (what a way to look for diapers). But there's an aura of
sadness throughout the sketch, as there should be. But is Harry truly dead? Stay tuned....
SHORT BITS:
Trevor's having his hair and mustache done, and he describes the results of a bad treatment: some of his hair fell out! Now he can appreciate what Barry goes through, as he's been consistently follicularly challenged. But it's not all bad; think of all the things that can be done with those hats....
Mrs. Noh observes how everyone is so interested in losing weight. Then why don't they
try the solution in her homeland: swallow a worm. While passing through your system, it'll
eat you from the inside out. If you pass the worm before you've lost enough weight, just
pass it through again!
COMMENT: I don't think so!
Sheneesha isn't concerned about reports linking airport x-ray machines to impaired
fertility. She's been at her job nine years, and he's had seven children. "Piece of
[bleep]"
COMMENT: Well, there goes another contraceptive down the drain
(so to speak)!
LONG SKETCH:
Rayleen's husband Mitch has died. While in costume on the set of The Lost World, he
choked to death on a burrito. Rayleen is taking it hard, as you can expect. He was a good
man to her. The hearse comes in, does a spin, ejecting the casket and stopping right on
the mark. Always a pro, even in death. She bears the casket herself into the hall. During
the service, Rayleen describes how she met Mitch at a dwarf-tossing contest. She won a
clock radio and the man of her dreams, she says. When she's too overcome with emotion to
continue, she has Linda Granger come up to sing a song written especially for the funeral.
The song is in very questionable taste (though it's sung with good intentions). During the
song, Rayleen talks to a little woman seated next to her. Her name is Raquel Gibson --
Mitch's first wife. More to the point, she's Mitch's legal wife. He never divorced Raquel
when he walked out on her in Winnipeg. Rayleen's in a very precarious position. Raquel
knows this -- and so does her attorney. As Mitch's legal survivor, she's entitled to
everything. And she takes everything except for a pickup truck and half of Mitch's ashes.
Later, in a secluded spot, Rayleen plans her final tribute to her late
"husband". With the help of special effects wizards, she puts the ashes into a
rocket and launches it skyward. But something goes wrong, and the rocket returns to earth.
It smashes right into the pickup truck! Now Rayleen has absolutely nothing!
COMMENT: Mitch may be dead, but the actor who played him, Danny
Woodburn, is alive and well and starring in the new (for 1997) Conan TV series.
That prevented him from continuing as Mitch, obviously. As for the segment itself, we see
Rayleen demonstrating the patience of Job. By the end of the segment, she's literally lost
everything -- her husband (and she never legally had him, anyway), her property,
her possessions -- everything! But there's no need to fear for Rayleen; she's a survivor.
She will triumph over this adversity. She still has her dignity, her faith -- and her
stunt skills.
SHORT BITS:
Chic describes his personal lost-and-found policy: you lose it, he keeps it. Tough
[bleep}!
COMMENT: Don't lose anything!
Hope muses on why people refer to "losing one's virginity". It's not like you
leave it at the library by mistake.... Anyway, she describes in great detail how she will
lose her virginity with her boyfriend. She's got it all planned -- almost.
COMMENT: Whatever happened to spontaneity?
Sydney and her client are awaiting the verdict of the jury. Sydney's very confident;
she's never lost a case. Until now. The jury has found her client guilty of first degree
murder. She thinks she misheard the verdict, but she didn't. To use the words of John Cage
(of Ally McBeal), Sydney is troubled by this development. She finds it hard to
live with (her client doesn't have a choice), and she storms out, blaming everyone else,
including her client, for her failure.
COMMENT: Psycho Sydney strikes again. She can dish it out, but
she can't take it. On another matter -- I wonder what would happen if Sydney ever
encountered "the biscuit" (Cage) in court? With his unusual habits, I bet he
could drive her crazier (she's already kinda crazy).
Kay muses on her lost youth and the life she could have led, had she not been caring
for her mother for all these years. The adventures she could have led --
mountain-climbing, sailing, working with giraffes on an African game preserve. That's not
to say that life at the Van Nuys S&L hasn't been adventurous, what with two armed
robbery attempts and the antics of a woman strung out on angel dust (the only casualty:
the loan officer's toupee)
COMMENT: I would not have figured Kay for the adventurous type.
But beneath that meek exterior lies a mysterious woman.
OVERALL COMMENTS: Due to the subject matter of two of the sketches (death of a spouse), one wouldn't expect many big laughs in this episode. There weren't. But they wouldn't have been appropriate, anyway. There are certainly humorous moments, but they are tempered by the grief and the pain that Fern and Rayleen are suffering. Both of them have lost their husbands, and Rayleen ends up losing everything she owns. Fern comments on the circle of life -- how one dies (Harry) so another may be born (their grandson), and Rayleen is demonstrating a patience and acceptance worthy of Job as her world falls apart. One rarely sees such philosophical matters discussed on television. To slightly paraphrase the book of Ecclesiastes (and the song "Turn! Turn! Turn!"), there is a time to laugh and a time to think.
This week, the closed captioning was much better. I didn't notice any mistakes. And that's the way it should be.
OPENING: Tracey describes and contrasts some of her previous agents -- a
British agent who was very low-key, and an American agent, who was so hyper....
COMMENT: In case you hadn't noticed, that American agent's
personality is the basis for Sydney Kross. And so is her voice, for that matter. In fact,
I wonder who's more psycho: Sydney or that agent? On another matter, I find that I prefer
the second season openings (where Tracey generally walked into the scene before starting)
to this season's (where she's having a one-on-one with someone off-camera). In the second
season, she spoke directly to the camera and, thus, directly to us viewers. We become part
of the action, in a sense. But with the third season openings, we're witnessing portions
of a conversation between Tracey and the person off-camera, so we viewers are more
removed, more detached.
SHORT BITS:
Her Royal Highness meets Pierce Brosnan, who has assumed the role of James Bond. She
then proceeds to dismiss Timothy Dalton and Roger Moore and say that Sean Connery was the
only real Bond. Why don't they simply reissue his old Bond films so Brosnan can go back to
his "Remington Shaver" ads?
COMMENT: What, no comment about George Lazenby? HRH may have a
point about Connery as Bond, and this may be the first and only time I find myself
agreeing with her about something. But I wouldn't characterize Roger Moore as
"sweet" and as someone who should be working in men's socks at Harrod's.
"Remington Shaver" -- what a hoot!
Birdie describes the products she sells from the "Militia M'Lady" line. Some
of the products: camouflage teddies, control top ammo belts, etc. -- they'll really make
the little soldier stand up and salute!
COMMENT: I don't think I want a Militia M'Lady party anywhere in
my neighborhood.... No, I know I don't want it!
LONG SKETCH:
Fern is still grief-stricken over the apparent death of husband Harry. But she's
getting by with help of friends Bella and Jobie (Julie Kavner). They're helping her sort
out her finances. It seems that Harry left everything in order. Plus, he was covered by an
over $800,000 life insurance policy. Fern should be set for life. But insurance agent
LaSalle arrives with bad news: because of the nature of his death, and the lack of a death
certificate, the insurance company won't pay the benefits. Maybe in seven years, they can
have Harry declared legally dead, and then the policy will be paid off. This news
devastates Fern, as you can imagine. But she's set for the basics. In the meantime, agent
LaSalle does some checking around, and he's found a few things. He invites Fern down to
the docks, to the boat she and Harry owned. They never used it that much, says Fern. Not
so, says LaSalle; in fact, Harry's been to Belize. There's a receipt from there, some
navigational charts -- and a new condom. What can this mean? What secrets was Harry
keeping from Fern? Then she remembers that their former maid Marietta was from Belize.
Harry was giving her English lessons. Did Harry run off with Marietta? Fern and Jobie fly
to Belize to check for themselves. On the beach, we see a bar called "Harry's."
It turns out that "the late" Harry Rosenthal (Michael Tucker) is not dead after
all. He did run off to Belize with Marietta. Sparks fly when Fern confronts him. Why did
he leave? Well, when he was teaching Marietta English, one thing led to another, then
another, then he found himself in love with her. Plus, he'd had enough of Fern's dislike
of sex (i.e., he wanted more than she was willing to give). But he cared enough for Fern
to fake his death so she'd be well provided for. She doesn't buy it; she's still P.O'd,
and she starts to chase him. As the chase moves to sea (Harry on a windsurfboard, Fern in
a pedal boat), agent LaSalle shows up. He heard about Fern's plane trip and suspected
collusion. As we see Harry trying to sail away and Fern in hot pursuit, it's plain to see
that there's no collusion. Suddenly, Harry loses his balance and falls into the water,
where he's attacked and eaten by a shark! This time, Harry is truly dead, and Fern does
collect on the policy.
COMMENT: What a range of emotions Fern must have been feeling --
grief, surprise, anger, shock, etc. To go from believing that your husband was dead to
learning that he was alive and had run off with another woman, only to see him killed --
that had to have been a terrible emotional burden. But Fern will survive. All of Tracey's
characters are survivors, in my opinion. It was great seeing Michael Tucker return to the
role of Harry, even though (barring resurrection or a major continuity lapse) we won't be
seeing Harry again. George Segal was OK as Harry last season, but to me, Michael was
and always will be Harry Rosenthal, just like Sean Connery was and will always be James
Bond.
SHORT BIT:
Trevor describes the time he worked for a travel agent. He once was a courier on a bus
trip to Italy. One of the passengers got sick and tossed his barf bag out the window, but
he'd tossed his false teeth. So the bus had to backtrack and Trevor had to retrieve the
choppers. The travel agent's life was not for him....
COMMENT: I don't blame him.
LONG SKETCH:
The scene is the office of Hollywood agent Candy Casino (Seymour Cassel). As he's on
the phone, in walks his client Linda Granger. She's not happy. She's tired of hearing
about all the roles she felt she was perfect for but didn't get or didn't even hear about.
Candy tries to settle her down, but it's no use. She needs a change, she says, and she'll
start by changing agents. But finding a new agent proves to be difficult. One won't take
her, not wanting to offend Candy. Another didn't know who she was except as a member of
his mom's AA sessions. It gets to the point where she has to pose as her own agent (Sandy
Bickford of the "Bickford Agency"). But that doesn't increase the number of
parts she's getting. In fact, all she is hearing is the unvarnished truth from the casting
directors, and the truth is not pretty. They spell out in detail why they don't want
Linda: her lips are way too big, she's extremely brash, etc. It's very ego-damaging. Soon
after, she's back in Candy's office, begging him to take her back. She's learned her
lesson. But he won't be her agent anymore. No, he'll now be her personal manager. What's
the difference? Five percent....
COMMENT: The truth hurts. On another note, we learn that Linda
and Candy had been lovers at one time.
SHORT BIT:
Ruby describes how, in the 50's, she was recruited by J. Edgar Hoover to spy for the
FBI on movie sets, looking for suspected Communist agents. She had a radio transmitter
implanted in one of her teeth (the FBI dentist gave her quite a drilling). One day, she
was on the set with Larry Parks and John Garfield, and she positioned herself to hear the
conversation. The technique required that she keep her mouth open in a certain way.
Garfield took this as an invitation for a certain something. Things happened, and the
transmitter blew (among other things). So that was the end of Agent Romaine's career. But
she worked on all of Garfield's other pictures....
COMMENT: That Ruby! What hasn't she done? This was a hilarious
capper to the episode.
LOST SKETCHES: These two bits were mentioned in the episode writeups on the TTO and HBO Websites but never aired. In one, Mrs. Noh talks about some additional usages for Agent Orange. In the other, Chic talks about his cousin in the adult film business, and how he tried to get a job as "Johnny Deep."
OVERALL COMMENTS: Another interesting episode, as usual. Now that Harry is truly and definitely dead, what will become of Fern? We shall see in the next few weeks.
Commentary on TTO Season 3, Episodes 6-10 plus the "Best Of" special
The third season of TRACEY TAKES ON ... is Copyright 1997 Takes On Productions.
This summary, review and commentary is Copyright 1998 R. W. Reini.
Roger Reini (contact)
http://www.rreini.org/
Revised April 20, 2008
Created by Roger Reini