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Talk Show Appearances - 1987

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Tonight Show, January 30 
Late Night with David Letterman, April 2
Tonight Show, Apr. 29
Late Night with David Letterman, July 29 
Tonight Show, Dec. 1 

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0.  Tonight Show, January 30

The official Johnny Carson website (www.johnnycarson.com) says that Tracey appeared this evening along with Molly Cheek, Los Lobos, Bob Saget and Garry Shandling.  As this is not in my collection, I can neither confirm nor summarize it.  However, I suspect it is true, for she mentions it in her April 29 appearance.

1. Late Night with David Letterman, April 2

Dave introduces Tracey after mentioning the premiere of her new Fox series on April 15 (more on the date later).  Contrary to what he says, she was on his show the last time she was in town.  In fact, she brought her baby Mabel on [October 1986].   And when Mabel goes to her analyst 20 years on, she'll talk about the horrible experience of being brought on the Letterman show.  Today happens to be her birthday; she's one year old today.  She had a party in her honor, but it was mostly over her head (as it would be for most 1-year-olds).  Tracey says they'd like her to be schooled in England -- perhaps at the school that produced Sarah Ferguson?  Probably not, but the educational scene in California is a little too flaky.  The conversation turns briefly to the Royal Family, then to Tracey's new show on Fox.  As she puts it, it's a show that's never been done before on a network that doesn't exist.  It'll air three times on its debut night, so there's no excuse for missing it.  Forget "Murder She Wrote"; that's for dead people!  And what will we see on her new series?  "Me -- lots of me."  It's not a sitcom; doing the safe and predictable "Care and Share Show" with the cute ethnic kid that says "Let's eat pizza!" is not for her. No, it's a variety show, but not the traditional variety format.

As they come out of the break, Paul Shaffer and the band have been playing a Junior Walker song, and all agree that they did a terrific job on it.  Dave asks Tracey if she gets back to Britain much now.  No, she doesn't, not since the series has started.  Then she comments on one aspect of American stardom:  appearing on the cover of those women's magazines at the supermarket checkout stands.  Not for her, this.  Next, she talks about the origin of Mabel's name (her great-grandmother on her father's side was named Mabel).  And when she gets older and if she decides she doesn't like her name, she can fall back on her middle name, Ellen.  The conversation then turns to June Allyson and her ads for Depends.  "What was her agent thinking?!?" she says.  She should have been doing ads for toffees.  How sad.  And how sad it was when Scatman Crothers, who'd been doing a denture ad with Henny Youngman and Yvonne de Carlo, was edited out of it hours after his death.  Then she says if, after 20 years, if she's still wearing silly earrings and big bows with crow's feet around her eyes when she appears on the show, have her .... no, we won't mention what she said, because it could be misconstrued.  As the interview winds down, Dave mentions her new show premiering on April 15th.  "Fifth," corrects Tracey.  But the card says 15th, says Dave.  She takes the card from him and tears it up.  Oops, getting too cocky -- but not so cocky that she won't come back.

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2. Tonight Show, Apr. 29

Garry Shandling is the guest host tonight.  When Tracey comes out, we see her wrists are taped up.  This was for her Russian trapeze artist sketch, she says.   That's how you're gripped.  The last time she was on, Garry was also filling in for Johnny, and she was giving him a hard time about his looks, his "Caribbean sunset makeup."  In fact, she wasn't able to plug her show.  Garry asks if that's a Mexican accent she's doing; she's not doing one, but she is speaking very rapidly and in an animated manner.  But now she can plug her show.  "All right, dolly drops," she says.  Garry is confused by this term.  She tries to explain that it's a British term of affection, but this doesn't register with him.   Moving on -- on her show, she does lots of things and lots of characters, and she has to pick up a lot of unusual things for her roles.  For instance, this week, she's had to learn to sing "Stand By Me" in Russian.  She calls herself "a mine of useless information" and proves it by mentioning Namibian colored sands.   She'd just seen a PBS documentary on them.  She says "You know a little bit about everything, Tracey. You're perfectly useless."  Garry's not picking up on the colored sands, either -- it's almost like they're talking in different languages.

After the break, Tracey says that Garry's ex-girlfriend made her up tonight.  She (the ex) told Tracey that he tried to buy her a stuffed sheep in Solvang once, but she wouldn't accept it.  It almost seemed like he was more interested in the sheep than her (we won't go there).  Garry doesn't recall any of this.  The conversation turns to Tracey's exes.  First, there was Gary, or "Gaz", who was a British judo expert.  In fact, he'd been a champion once.  One time, she wanted him to throw her.  He was reluctant, saying "these hands were lethal weapons."   But she insisted, and he obliged.  Ouch!  There went her shoulder.   Then there was Brian, a guy "who looked like a cross between Paul Newman and Robert Redford, and he knew it."  He did strange things like put out his cigarettes in the noodles in Chinese restaurants, thinking that the noodles would be reused.  OK.... How long did she go out with him?  Quite a while, actually.   Yes, she was looks-crazy when younger.  So who does she end up marrying? As she puts it, "a real ol' dodgy ol' boy named Allan, but he's all right."   She struck paydirt, she says -- "laughter is our life."  They've been married for 3 1/2 years now, and daughter Mabel is 1 -- very willful and grabby.   She mentions turning on the sound system in her new SUV and hearing "Hickory Dickory Dock."  When that happens, you know you're a parent.  She likes the higher-riding 4WD vehicles, for now she doesn't have to go by the other drivers and see them picking their nose.

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3. Late Night with David Letterman, July 29

As the segment begins, Dave and Paul are talking about the weather.  Then Dave introduces Tracey and congratulates her on the success of her series, which has been in production for about six months.  She says it's very hard work but also very rewarding work.  Her reception by Customs officials at the airport has definitely improved since the show started.  Before, she was likely to draw a strip search; now, it's "How ya doin'?" and stuff like that.  She talks about her mother, for whom life is now "one big assault course".  After two years, she's still complaining about the jet lag from her visit to America.  Back to the weather:   it's been cold in Britain, and she's been spoiled by southern California, because it's hard to get used to British weather again.  She then gives us an impression of British weather presenters, and how their forecasts are almost enough to make you slit your wrists.  Then, on the hot day of the summer, it's an excuse to jump into the Serpentine in Hyde Park (look at Debbie and her breasts).  On to age:  she's not old yet (27 as of this date), she's not menopausal, life isn't "one big assault course" yet.  See, she's wearing dreadlocks (not completely, just a few of them).  Then she talks about a little holiday in France, which is a bit of an iffy proposition when you consider that the French don't really care for the English.  Why are they building the Channel Tunnel, anyway?

After the break, Dave asks Tracey how the Fox network is treating her, four months after the show's premiered.  OK, she says.  She's received some nice little presents like potpourri and soap, which she lets Mabel unwrap and play with.  Only in America, she says, grateful for the opportunity to work here.  Dave tries to entice her to come to a "real network" (NBC).  Then she mentions that Mabel (now 16 months old) is passing through a "violent and rough phase" -- in fact, "pit baby" is an apt phrase.  Dave invites her to "come back any time" as the interview concludes.

3A.  Tonight Show, Dec. 1

The official Johnny Carson website (www.johnnycarson.com) says that Tracey appeared this evening along with Bill Alexander, Sheila E. and Patrick Swayze.  As this is not in my collection, I can neither confirm nor summarize it.

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Prepared by Roger Reini
©1998 R. W. Reini
Last modified: April 20, 2008